Saturday, June 26, 2010

The Dreaded Sunburn

When you get sunburn, you want fast relief. Typically, some aloe and a couple of aspirin will help.

Growing up, my relief came by cooling the skin with some effective but unorthodox methods: vanilla flavoring (the cheap stuff); or vinegar- we either smelled like a cake or a pickle.
I preferred to smell like a cake, but I was always hungry.

You may ask how these remedies worked. Vanilla flavoring contains alcohol, which cools the skin as it evaporates, leaving the wonderful aroma of vanilla.

Rubbing alcohol works too, but you are cryogenically frozen.

The vinegar will evaporate the same way, but I have seen little flies attracted to the scent…

There are worse things than a sunburn. Here are a few:

1.Hot car seats, with a sunburn.

2.The freckles that show up from a sunburn.

3.Paying taxes.

4.Fire ants up your pants.

5.A mosquito bite in the crease of your heel.

6.The smell of grilled steak at a party next door and you weren’t invited.

7.Sunburn over a previous sunburn.

8.“Mommy I’ve got ‘Tiggers’.” This is a 3year old’s version of “chiggers”. A Southern chigger is an invisible insect that bites, buries under the skin making a small, irritating bump which must be removed by covering it with nail polish.

They are generally found in places that are uncovered and if most unfortunate, in places where the “sun don’t shine”.

9.Days after the initial sunburn, having your sister peel the skin off.

Have fun in the sun, but don’t forget the sunscreen.
Typically, summer clothing has an SPF of 8, so use it liberally under T-shirts and shorts, apply it about every hour and don’t forget the delicate parts like nose, throat and ears.
And, if your makeup has an SPF of 15 and you apply SPF of 30 on top, you still have an SPF of 30, not 45.

Cake anyone?

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