I walked into the Aquatic Center, scanned my membership card and heard a tiny woman’s voice say something.
“What did the scanner say?”
The attendant said, “It said, ‘You look great today’.
I suppose I had a puzzled look on my face walking into the locker room, not comprehending the remark.
The second time I scanned my membership card I heard, “You look great today” and giggled to the locker room. Why? I don’t know, but I thought that someone had a great business sense to include the message.
The third time, I heard the voice and smiled. I wondered who created it.
The fourth time I thought, “This is annoying”.
The fifth time I asked “Is this thing making fun of me? I would like to get hold of that idiot and wring his neck.”
For the last few days, I have been going to another scanner that only “dings” when it scans.
Guess I taught the other one a lesson…
Then I began thinking, what if the scanner was from the Twilight Zone?
These might be some remarks the scanner would make:
“Hey fatso, drop and give me twenty.”
“You really shouldn’t wear those tight bike shorts.”
“The mirror’s behind you. Don’t look.”
“Was that an earthquake, or just you?”
“Whoa mamma, scan me again.”
“For twenty bucks, I’ll say you look great.”