Friday, January 25, 2013

Dog Bumper Sticker

I saw a bumper sticker on a car today:
“Dear God, help me to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.”

Apparently, this person’s dog adores him, but he probably doesn’t deserve it.

I don’t have the kind of dogs that follow me or wait with an attentive attitude.

My dogs are willful, disobedient, jealous and vindictive.

Their only obedience comes when food is involved. They sleep most of the time and don’t like it when one or both get any attention.

Most importantly, my dogs do not like to be left behind. If I leave the house, they will find something to tear up and eat. Plastic, aluminum foil or boxes are just a tease.

I have a stainless steel garbage can with a step-lid opener, now facing backward with a gallon of water sitting on top.

Kaiser uses his steel nose to lift the lid and get into the trash. Even backward, he will knock over the can and get in it. The result is a garbage mess in 3 rooms; his record is 9 minutes.

Duke goes along with Kaiser, and I’m sure together, the record could be 3 minutes if they tried.

I do not want to be the person my dog wants me to be.

However, my husband has “sucker” written on his forehead…

What kinds of bumper stickers have you seen lately? Write me....


  1. Funny to read, but not funny to live with. Been there, picked up the trash. Maybe the dogs need to go to Doggie School.

  2. Hilarious! I share your pain. Here at Chez Poodle, anything goes if you're the dogs. Three "nos" equal a "yes." Love your story!