Thursday, September 2, 2010

Disappearing Pens

Pens are meant to be pilfered.
It doesn’t matter if it’s a freebie from the Hilton Hotel, or a Mont Blanc, someone will pick it up, use it, and then pocket it.

Scott has a Mont Blanc given to him by his parents when he pinned on
Lt. Colonel. I better not look at it, much less use it- this pen will never get nib wear and doesn’t come out for sunshine unless there are “important” papers to be signed.

I don’t have any specialty pens.

As a teacher, I used red ink pens, but no child would dream of confiscating one.
I kept black and blue Bic pens, which could be borrowed from me with the “trade” of a house key or quarter for safekeeping. Typically, kids wanted their money for lunch and needed the key to babysit baby brother, so there wasn’t a problem.

Adults are different. If a pen is available to sign a nametag, or to sign up for making brownies, it will disappear.

I broke the code on this, so listen up grade mothers and polltakers:
either use pencils, or leave the caps off the pens.

No one wants an exploding pen in a new Chuck Valentino knockoff.

Rarely does a person volunteer pens, but once it happened to me.
I was in charge of tickets and reservations at the high school Christmas dinner theater. Everyone wrote checks and my pens disappeared.

A man offered to give me some of his from his truck. Two fat pens appeared and yes, the pretty red and white one disappeared but the silver and blue one remained. I wondered why until I read the advertiser, “Viagra”.
He was really eager to get rid of it.

I showed Scott the pen and he responded, “A Viagra pen should never last longer than 4 hours, so it will either explode, or we’ll need to call the pen doctor.”


Check your purses and briefcases, if you have my Sharpie pens, give them back. Otherwise, the next time you borrow one, you will get one without the lid.

I'd love to hear from you. "Scream" at me on aitken.helen@gmail.com.
Have a colorful day.

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