Call me ignorant, or even dumb, but everything I know about cats comes from Comparative Anatomy class.
Cats are not like dogs.
Nothing has prepared me for the unusual behavior and routines I have experienced as a cat owner or being possessed by cats.
Cat Lessons learned, part 1
1. Cats have multiple personalities. My cats should be named “Sybil” 1, 2 and 3.
2. Do not move your feet under the covers when the lights are out.
3. Cats will have road races around the bedroom- the bed and your body will be part of the racetrack.
4. Cats sleep about 1 ½ hours. Take advantage of their sleeping and sleep then, because, they will want you up when they are.
5. When a cats’ eyes are completely dilated and their tails are whisking from side to side, look out, a fight is comigl ensue or your body parts are about to become Swiss cheese.
6. When a cat lies down, indicating they want a full body rub, it’s a ploy; they want to attack you with front and back paws. Irritate them by rubbing only the head and neck area.
7. Do not stick your hand under any cover- it will become a target.
8. Bells on collars are nice, except for the road races at 1:30am, 3:30 am, and 5:30 am.
9. Cats will sleep wherever they please, including on top of your cashmere sweater or lingerie. If there is a clean basket of clothes, they will sleep in it.
10. Cats will hide behind the shower curtain, and try to attack you while you’re on the toilet.
Watch for parts 2 and 3 next week. If you have cats and can help me understand them, please write me at email@example.com.
I need help! Have a great day.