What is scarier than being in the hospital?
Being in the hospital on Halloween.
My ninety-year old mother was in the hospital. The door to her room opened and a wheel chair entered, pushed by a radiology technician. He wore a rainbow streaked curly wig and clown makeup.
“Hello, I’m your clown for the day” he said. Mother stared at him, her mouth opened.
“I’m going to take you downstairs to get your ultrasound.”
“Where are you going to take me?”
“I’m going to take you to get a test done, and if you want me to help you into the wheelchair, I will.” Her eyes said "don't touch me", so she got in by herself.
This was a strange man, a clown man.
She wanted no part of him, but she got into the wheelchair and was unhappy to learn that she would be traveling alone with him.
Mother and I needed a “real” breakfast, so while she was gone, I headed to the cafeteria.
In the line behind me waiting to pay, was the best-dressed mummy I’d ever seen, and why not?
The hospital was the perfect place for obtaining gauze for bandaging and experts to do the work. Each arm and leg was covered; the body wrapped and the head showed only blackened eyes, and there was no stiffness in the walk. Her movements were fluid, pulling out a Dr. Pepper from the cooler and then ordering a breakfast sandwich to go.
There was no mouth, so how would she eat without being unwrapped?
Even more chilling, how would she go to the bathroom?
Clearly, she did not consider the ramifications of being mummified, but she was in the right place for surgery.
There were other surprises in the hospital.
I recognized two versions of angels with elaborate wings and halos, a female football referee and 1- 1950’s diner, waitress in black, with pink polka dot hair tie, matching hankie and ponytail.
Then there was a nurse dressed as a nurse.
The nurse had on a short, white nurse’s dress and stockings, black stacked heels, white hat with a red cross on the front and 3 stethoscopes around her neck, red enclosed circle cheeks, large big, black, false eyelashes and matching red lips.
Mother had to endure the Halloween antics most of the day.
Outside her door, a shrill voice accompanied with screams and chilling laughter emanated from the nurses’ station, while prerecorded ghoulish sounds and Halloween phrases prompted the nurses to laugh.
These fun-loving individuals made me smile and surely brought some humor to others in the hospital.
I wonder what they do for Thanksgiving.
May all your Halloweens be hospital free. Write to me at firstname.lastname@example.org
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