Wednesday, January 12, 2011

My dogs are pigs!


My dogs are chow-hounds. 

They love their dog food, human food and anything that used to be alive. 
They’ll eat anything, even stuff that wasn't alive.

When Duke and Kaiser eat, it’s not a delicate sight.  They inhale the item, possibly biting it once and then swallow it whole.

Kaiser is the worse example of a garbage dog.  
He eats anything, including the napkins stolen off the table, paper towels, and knee-highs.

How has he managed to live to age 7? 
Either he poops out the indigestible item, or the next day it is lying on my carpet.

When the house is quiet, Kaiser is pilfering food in the kitchen: the sink, off the plates and eating out of the pans on top of the stove.  
Temperature doesn’t matter.  His iron stomach matches his silicon-coated tongue.

When Kaiser was 2 years old, he managed to lean against the counter top, reach over some items and retrieve a bacon wrapped fillet mignon held by a T pin.  
I caught him and 5 seconds later, he had swallowed the whole thing.

We went to the Vet emergency room, had an X-ray and there was the pin.  
The doctor said we could take him to NCSU Vet School for a $10,000 operation or give him a sedative, keep him from throwing up, and hope that the pin came out without any damage. 
The doctor didn’t have any hope, so we sedated him.

The drugs didn’t knock him out.  Instead, he was agitated, moaning and threw up in my arms at 4am. 
I thought it was the end.  I looked down and in the clear mucus was a T pin. 
In this distressful time, he managed to digest the $12 fillet mignon and deposit the T pin in my lap.

From that time on, I knew he was a survivor.


Duke and Kaiser (the one smiling)
Most of the garbage diving occurs when I’m out of his sight, and if there’s nothing to eat, he shreds whatever he finds. 

Duke, once dubbed “good dog”, has learned Kaiser’s trick of knocking over the 30 pounds holding down the garbage can lid and standing on the counters looking for food.  
Now, neither one can be trusted.

The only redeeming quality for either dog is that they will eat what I cook. 

I’m not a gourmet chef. 
I burn things, make things too spicy when it’s not called for, and make foods that Scott will taste, but then go to McDonald’s, or enough for an army. 

Scott does not eat leftovers- at least he doesn’t think so. 
I’m adept in disguising the next day’s dinner, but not when there’s 8 quarts made for only 2 of us. 

If I can’t freeze it, or eat it in 3 days, Kaiser and Duke come in really handy.



Are my dogs like your dogs?  I'd love to hear about it, so write me at aitken.helen@gmail.com.

I wonder if the dogs like bean soup.  It may be too much for me... Have a great day.

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