Have you seen any home security advertisements lately?
ASS, Advanced Security Systems boasts 24-hour protection from break-ins, thefts, fires caused from meteorite crashes, sprinkler system floods, excessively loud neighbors and more.
The price tag for this exceptional service is more than a mortgage plus 3 car payments; it seems a little ridiculous.
My security system is only for security.
No fancy bells or whistles and the monthly fees are relatively small, delivering what I need and the neighborhood is safer for it.
It’s the 2BWDS, the 2 Big Weimaraner Dogs System.
It possesses 24/7 surveillance, especially for the UPS or the FedEx man daring to cross the front porch steps. And is present to keep any hands or bodies from entering the back yard.
The 2BWDS has a built in cat and squirrel sensor and is rewarded by pats on the head and “good boy,” with treats.
It automatically goes to the back yard for regular maintenance and eats all the leftovers or items from stove accidents
There is no need for electronic alarms.
2BWDS barks can pierce the sound barrier and alerts the neighbors with distinctive sounds indicating degrees of danger vs. a squirrel up a tree.
The 2BWDS requires tidbits every so often, the toilet bowl raised, the whole couch for reclining in-between guard shifts, and two hour naps at least 6 times a day for recharging.
It survives on love and produces maximum devotion for the household.
Who needs ASS when there is 2BWDS? I highly recommend them.
May all your days be secured. I'd love to hear about your system. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Have a wonderful day.