Friday, October 7, 2011

Birthin’ a Baby

My nephew’s wife is about to give birth to their first child.  

Wonder if she’s prepared for the birthin'?

I remember my pregnancy with Will, and I was the healthiest I have ever been.  
Except for the fact that I looked like I was having triplets, the possibility of giving birth to a 10-pound baby didn’t frighten me.  
When I was born, I weighed 9 pounds, 14 ounces and was 24 inches long.   
It was the birthing process that had me a worried. 

Will was due in mid December. 
He refused to come out and greet the world.  
On December 26, 1990, my doctor said it was time to “induce” labor. 

For three days, I was on Pitocin, had a Fleet enema twice a day and did multiple laps around the ward.  Nothing worked. 
managed to have labor pains every 30 seconds and only dilated 1 ½ centimeters.  
Will wouldn’t cooperate. 
Scott said, “He isn’t finished cooking yet.”

I should have taken it as a sign for the child to come.

At 4:30, the doctor gave me the option of having the Pitocin for one more day.  
I reached out, grabbed his v-neck scrub top and pulled him close to me. 
In a guttural voice coming from a space alien, I said, “We’re going to have this baby, now!”  

The doctor acquiesced, and I was prepped for a C-Section. 
The Lamaze C-Section class was the only one Scott and I missed.  
I assumed that we would do it the regular way, so I didn’t do my homework.
Boy, what a surprise.

William Carl Aitken arrived on December 12, 1990 at 6:30 pm. 
Scott cut the cord, Will peed on him, and they knocked me out.  
Four days later, we went home.

It think it would be better to have a bear’s birthing experience.

Perhaps you don’t know about “birthin’ a baby” bear.  
The last stages of pregnancy and birth take place while the mama bear is in hibernation! 
No labor pains or maybe it feels like a bad dream.

The 300-pound mother might wake slightly after the birth, sometime in February and then the teacup size, 1-pound cub attaches to a teat until it’s time to leave the den in May.   

Most bears have single cubs but on occasion, they can have multiple births supporting up to three newborns.  Mama has enough stored fat to keep the entire family going and growing in those few months, because her fat is transferred into her milk.

When she wakes us she probably says, “Hello, who are you?  Am I your mother?”
It’s a perfect scenario for her. 

Try to imagine Mama Bear in the labor room.  
The doctor is standing over her and she goes into ballistic labor pains. 
She reaches up to the doctor and slash, slash; the teeth start biting. 
The room changes into a scene with Freddy Kruger.  

It’s really best to have her kind of birthing.

It’s said that once the pain of child birth is over, it’s never remembered.  
Maybe not, but then there are hot flashes.

I wonder if bears have hot flashes.

I hope my niece has a "hibernation" kind of birth, and ready for the next phase.
I'd love to hear your stories.  Email me at

Have a great day.

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