Thursday, November 17, 2011

Football Thoughts

I’m thoroughly convinced that football players get too much on their plates, literally.  
Especially when their middles are extended in a nine-month  pregnancy size, and their legs are too big for any space in between.  
It forces their legs to rub together and ultimately, they turn inward walking pigeon-toed.  

It's astonishing that they can run up and down the field like that.

Players never wear coats in 30 degree weather while they stand on the sidelines.  
Maybe it’s because they have enough insulation from the chow line.

Perhaps I shouldn’t talk; I also have enough insulation…

Our stadium seats are about the 40-yard line.  
Once the first set of stairs are climbed, we only have to go up 20 rows to “T” and then scoot into  the 9th and 10th seats.  
That’s so much better than having to go up to row “WW," from last season.  
At that row, I had to stop three times, administer a tank of oxygen, rub the topical analgesic on my knees and get the defibrillator ready when I sat down.      

No matter what row we sit on, the idea of going up and down more stairs to get drinks or food is unappealing.  
I make sure I get my gallon of water, hot dogs, hamburgers, chicken sandwiches, and popcorn before I make the trek to my seat.  
The sandwiches may freeze before I get a chance to eat them, but I have my stash ready for consumption when I want them.

When I want them warm, I ask Scott to go get me something.  
The look he gives me heats my hotdog, so I ask often.

The only drawback to our seats is that we always face the sun and wind. 
If I’m not sunburned, I’m wind burned.  
This means that Scott hates my large brimmed 300 SPF hat, and he hides under my stadium blanket.

Being the Girl Scout in perpetuity has its advantages; I have lots of sunscreen, mini battery operated fan for my face, new thick gloves, a -20 degree long stadium coat, chap stick,  mini furnace, chair pad, a fleece blanket, and fireball candy ( I figure if I heat up from the inside out, it can’t hurt).  
Everything is carried in a purple sack that Scott carries.  
Scott complains until he asks to use something.  
Nevertheless, it’s hard to look cute when you’re at a football game and it’s hot or cold.

At the stadium, last week, I bought a purple, gray and gold ECU hat with earflaps and long strings with a pompom at both ends. 
It kept slipping down over my eyebrows as I pulled it over my ears.  I didn’t see what I looked like, but Scott said I looked cute… that could have been an insult or worse, his best fashion opinion.

Scott wore a toboggan over his ECU baseball hat, “It probably looks dorky but I’m warm," he said.  
He would have looked better with the earflap hat.

Saturday’s game is the last home game for the season.  
We can’t decide whether it will be warm or cold, so we are prepared for any weather: flip flops and shorts with sunscreen, and a variety of coats, hats and blanket.  
No matter the temperature, these diehard ECU football fans will be rooting for the Pirates.  


Hope your Saturday is filled with football.  Maybe you'll see me on TV.  I'll be the one with the cute ear-flap hat in purple and gold.

I'd love to hear from you.  Email me at

Have a great day.

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  1. Okay Helen, so did this REALLY happen? I can just picture you and the dogs in that store especially after the "smelly" incident at your house that first night. Oh well, they just do their own thing and we love them! Keep smiling.

  2. Dear Pat, you must mean the PetStore incident, or should I say catastrophe. I couldn't make up something like that... the store was nearly flooded and bio-hazard suits were issued. I'm surprised the store wasn't closed with crime scene tape and my PetStore card taken away. Yes, it only happens to me...