Monday, November 7, 2011

Motley’s Telephones

If you've ever seen Simon’s Cat on U Tube, you might think that he has a camera in my bedroom watching my cats, and then creates his cartoon movies based on what he sees.

Lately, I’ve started wearing an eye mask and earplugs when I go to bed.  

The cats have new collars with shiny bells that are loud enough to wake the dead.  
I’m sure you’ll probably ask “Why didn’t you remove the bells before you put them on?”
That would have been too simple and I didn’t think about it.

The cats know I wear a mask but that hasn’t stopped them from touching my lips with a clawed paw.  
That will wake you, I guarantee it.

Today, Tiger managed to leap on my chest at 3:00 am to go outside for his morning ritual.  
I took out the dogs, let Tiger out, brought the dogs in and hopped back into bed.

At 4:00 am, Motley wanted something.  
She walked on me, pounced on my feet and then attacked the telephones.  
I have a phone on either side of the bed, one a desk style with big buttons to the right of the receiver and it has a speakerphone.  
This phone is her favorite.

When the phone rings, she likes to answer the phone by knocking off the receiver, pressing the speaker button and then she dials a few numbers.  
I apologize to the other person on the line for the distraction, while Duke barks for attention and a few biscuits. 
This is the daily ritual.

The other phone in my bedroom is a black cordless phone on a base with several buttons.  
I can’t get this one to work, so I only use the cordless phone.  However, Motley has mastered these buttons.  
Who knew that this phone could speak in Spanish?  
Apparently, Motley is bilingual and I never knew it.  

At 4:00 in the morning, two phones going off is better than setting a dozen alarm clocks.

It’s bad enough to hear “The number you have dialed is not in service at this time.  Please hang up and dial it again.”  
Or, “This is 9-1-1, what is the emergency?” on the speakerphone.

Now, I have to hear it in Spanish and I don’t speak Spanish. 

I suppose I will need to learn “This is 9-1-1, what is the emergency?” in Spanish, so that I can tell the operator that my cat was either hungry or needed to go outside.

I think I’ll email Simon and tell him that cats like bedroom phones.  Then again, he’s probably figured that out.

Do your cats make long distance phone calls?  Motley probably will, but I wonder who she will call.

I'd love to hear your cat stories. Email me at

Have a great day.

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