1. Seek out the areas with chairs and newspapers.
2. There are comfortable chairs in the shoe department; it’s a great place to check emails, or catch up on music or the latest audio book.
3. Boy Scouts carry an emergency portable chair; bring it into the store, park it and send up a flare when it’s time to go home. Hopefully, you are a Boy Scout.
4. Shop in stores that have complementary coffee or popcorn; the tire place is a great place to shop.
5. Men should take cell phone photos of the items they want to buy, send them off, and then get approval before buying them.
6. Coordinate a rendezvous by her watch and set your cell phone alarm.
7. Set her phone’s ring tone, for your phone call, to a holiday tune so that she knows to come to the rendezvous.
8. Don’t forget to have a pleasant smile and give holiday greetings towards other shoppers and clerks.
It will take you a long way, and the other men feel your pain.
9. Give your lady a warm greeting and volunteer to carry all the packages to the car; she’ll hold your chair in the store.
10. Don’t bother carrying coats in the store, instead, volunteer to bring the car around to pick her up curbside.
11. Map out the best route to all the stores first, pack nourishing snacks and pick up some V8 juice, vitamin B complex for stress, and Red Bull for extra energy; it’s going to be a long day.
12. Volunteer to pick up chicken and fixings on the way home so that no one will have to slave over a hot microwave.
13. Lastly, don’t buy her an appliance. You want to live don’t you.
May your shopping days be short and productive, it'll be over soon.
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Have a great day. "Ho, Ho, Ho".