Monday, December 5, 2011

It Happens to Me in PetStore

What do you call total humiliation in PetStore?
A clean, groomed dog that has “go” by the checkout counter.

“What’s that smell?” I said.  
Then “whoopee cushion” sounds bombed the air and I turned around.
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry.  I’ll clean that up if you’ll hold my dogs.”  
My cashier complied.

Cashier #2 walked up to the woman behind me, who was totally grossed out, “Ma’am, if you’ll follow me I’ll take you on register two.” 
She quickly left.  

Orange danger cones appeared, closing off the area. 
I was expecting yellow flashing lights, sirens and men in biohazard suits to quarantine the dogs, half the store and me.

Kaiser gets excited.

He was so excited to see me that he ran from the groomer’s hand before she could get the gentle leader on, and tried to leap over the gate. 
He wanted out of there.

When I get stressed, and had a bad bowl of chili, my digestive system goes into overdrive.
Apparently, Kaiser was stressed out and ate a wad of paper towels for breakfast, so his digestive system went into overdrive too.

The accident was incredible!
It took 2 plastic bags, 37 paper towels and a gallon of sanitizing cleaner to cover a 6 ft. square area.  
Twenty-five exhausting minutes later, I was allowed to leave.

“Thank you for cleaning this up,” said my cashier.  
She was absolutely relieved not to clean up that disaster.

“No problem.  I’m used to it.  If it’s not one end, then it’s from the other.” 

I got the dogs out of the store and then Duke had to visit Poop Island by the parking lot.  
I should have known, they both eat at the same time, so they “go” at the same time too.

It will take hours before Kaiser settles down.  
The green fog in the car proved that.  
Too bad, he will have to keep his clean body outside until it does.

I suppose it could have been worse... two dogs could have humiliated me.  I'd love to hear from you, email me at  

May your days be humiliation free.

Don't forget to become a "follower" and I've still got some of my humor books to give away before Christmas.  It's easy and I don't bite or stalk.

Have a great day.

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