Wednesday, January 11, 2012

It happened to me again...

I love being in front of an audience.  
The internal teacher jumps out, everyone is focused on me and whatever comes out my mouth...
So I try to make it clean, coherent and not look like a complete imbecile.

Since I love writing humor, I've created some "Healthy Humor" speeches for various audiences.
Tonight, I'll be giving my basic speech for the Friends of the West Carteret Library, in Cedar Point, N.C.
Most people have a hard time speaking in public.  
I also get butterflies before I speak.  
Sometimes those butterflies become diving Pterodactyls, but I use that adrenaline for the energy I need to begin.

I've given this speech a few times and I won't be nervous until I actually open my mouth.  
When I've used up all the air in my lungs, and feel like I've been holding my breath underwater, I breathe again, and the Pterodactyls settle down.

Before speaking, I've done all the preparation I can to anticipate the kind of audience, their questions and prepare for most any contingency. 

One thing I can't prepare for is what my body does.
Today, I had the biggest Zit pop up under my lip. 
No, it's not a pimple, it's a Zit the size of Mt. St. Helen's and I can imagine what it will look like when it erupts. 

I really hope the toothpaste helps it. 
Yes, if Colgate can brighten teeth with peroxide, remove 
color from whatever you're wearing while you brush, it just might do the trick today... 

I posted this on my Facebook page and several friends tried to suggest some remedies.  

My niece suggested I spit on it... 
I can't reach the zit to spit on it, I'd have to drool on it.

Then another friend suggested Alum...
That's used to make pickles.  I don't think I'd like to look like one.

Then my niece resorted to heavy makeup or a band-aid.
I'm not sure they make band-aids that large.

I'm not sure if their solutions are any better than the toothpaste.  

Yes, I know I look stupid with a glob the size of a salad plate on my face, but the tingling sensation is telling me that something is working.  The zit may not go away, but my surrounding skin will sparkle.

If all else fails, I guess I could wear a ski mask.

I'd love to hear from you.  Email me at

Have a glorious toothpaste day.

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