Friday, May 4, 2012

Oh The Little Things, Oh The Toilet Seat.

“We need to go to Morehead City today and do some shopping,” Scott said.

“Yes, we do.  I’m making a list of things,” I said.  “Don’t laugh, but…”

“What?”  Scott began to blink a few times.  He does this when he anticipates another “uh oh” moment.

“I need a new toilet seat.”

“What?”  The blinking became more rapid.

“I broke the toilet seat.”

Scott threw his hand over his mouth and his eyes became squinty. He wasn’t laughing, out loud.  
“How did you manage to do that?”

“I slipped and fell on the toilet seat, and it broke,” I said.

The hand slapped his mouth again.

“You just slipped and fell on the toilet seat, and you broke it.”

“Yes, that’s how it happened.”

Well, I guess we’ll be going to the hardware store.  I suppose those things are on there with screws,” he said.

“I suppose so, but I want to take it with me, so I get the same kind of seat.  I like that one, it’s thick and durable.”

The hand went back to his mouth.

No respect, none what so ever.

May your days be filled with the best toilet seat, ever.  Email me at

Have a great day.


  1. Loved meeting you in Dayton and really love the accent. Broken toilet seats, frogs in the toilet? Not fun but funny stories.

  2. Hey, thanks. Great to meet you as well.
    I've never had a frog in the toilet, but I did have a dead squirrel in there once. Scott yelled at me, "Don't come in here but throw in a garbage bag and a large cooking spoon." He got it out, bagged it and tossed it in an outside trash can. He might have thought I'd cook it or dissect it, so I didn't get to see it. And he made me throw away the spoon.

    I'd love to hear your frog story.


  3. What a crack-up - at the very moment I saw your email I was writing a bathroom piece that I had never heard discussed before, and wondered, don't tell me Helen beat me to it; but turns out not so - be on the lookout for my bathroom funny soon!

    1. Let me know when it is posted... Maybe I'll take my laptop to the bathroom to read it. Then again, with my track record, I'll drop it in the toilet, the cats will want to play with it and the dog will flush it.

      Perhaps I'll just make a hard copy and read it on the sofa.


  4. So funny, Helen. Hope you found a comfy seat.

  5. So funny. Hope you found a comfy seat.