Friday, July 20, 2012

Just like Rodney, I Get No Respect

I have been working on a magazine article for All At Sea Southeast for the past day or so.  I promised the editor it would be sent on Monday and it's Thursday now.  The bones are there, but the “hook” hasn't quite appeared.   Sometimes writing is easy and other times, like today, the mind and body need a break.

So, I packed up my notes and headed out to Quizno’s for lunch at 2:25.  I hoped it would be deserted, so I could work in a different setting.  Perfect. I managed to eat a large salad, drink three glasses of sweet tea and felt better about the article.  Without realizing it, it was 4:30; I needed to get home.

In the car, I realized the salad and tea were speaking to me, loudly. I hurried home, opened the door, leaving my keys in the lock, let the dogs out and rushed through the bedroom to the bathroom without closing any doors.

Five minutes later, I heard Scott say, “Hello,” and I realized that I was stuck on the toilet without any toilet paper; I quickly threw a rolled-up magazine at the door, and it moved halfway. 

"Hi," I called.
“Where are you?” he said.
“I’m in the bathroom.  Could you toss me some toilet paper?”

Without saying a word, the hallway closet opened and closed, and Scott walked a through the bedroom to the bathroom doorway.  Instead of coming in, he used his best left-handed softball toss to get the toilet paper to me.  It hit the sink and rolled back toward the bedroom.  I snickered at his attempt.

Then, a hand reached in across the floor to retrieve the roll, like one of those old coin banks where a gorilla's hand appears across the top, slides the coin into a slot and disappears.   I started laughing.  What a goof.

His next attempt to aim the toilet roll was better, but it landed 3 feet away from me, and I kept laughing.  Now what would he do to get it to me?

Suddenly, Scott threw my cane into the bathroom, and it skidded across the floor, next to me.  Now, I'm laughing so hard that it’s a good thing I was where I was.

I used the cane to grab the roll and the rest is history. 

May all your days have backup plans or backup people.  Email me at  

Have a great day.


  1. Give the situation, interesting use of "backup".

    THis had me laughing.

  2. You are so funny! So lucky for you to have a substitute pitcher handy. Btw, this is why I store my tp in a cupboard right next to the throne. I can reach it from my seat.